Getting Lost In Seattle [and where did i put my coffee?]: June 30-July 2nd

For my last two days in Seattle, i wanted to walk around the city just as i had done the first week i spent there. I took my time, seeing the area with a whole new light. I walked up to Capitol Hill.

Twiggy, one of the associates of Molly Moon's dog, was all about getting her photo taken. I got to go in and meet her. She was so incredibly friendly and happy! she gave me lots of love and i needed it. I was starting to feel sad thinking about leaving the beautiful city.

I went into Value Village for a rolling suitcase; after walking around the airports, lugging my bags all over the pace, and being sore for a week because of it, i decided it was worth buying something to make it easier. I ended up finding an almost brand new rolling suitcase that was carry on size. It worked out too because i had acquired a few things having been in Seattle for a month.

This chair was hilarious

After Value Village i stopped by Lather Daddy to say hi to Katie and Poe and let her know i'd be there the next day to do laundry. She was busy and her boss was there so it worked out that i would come back the next day. I went to lunch with Nick and then cleaned up the hotel room and did some light packing and loaded up the laundry bag for the next day.

Tuesday i went to Lather Daddy and did my laundry and hungout with Kaite, and Sandy, a girl who had been a new customer there and had done her laundry the same time as me the week prior. We talked and laughed and i enjoyed the little time left i had with Katie. After that i went back to the hotel and packed. I wanted to leave something for Nick, a parting gift of sorts, so i copied the Radiohead poster i had brought with me for a homey touch by hand using the window as a light box.

Wednesday i was going to say bye the Katie, then stop by Nick's work, then take the Link to the airport. When i went by Lather Daddy, Katie surprised me by telling me she was taking a few hours off to drive me to the airport herself. I was an incredibly sweet gesture. We had some time to kill so we walked to the park and got Molly Moon's before picking up food. We had these two girls take a few pictures of us. After that we stopped by Nick's work and he and i said our goodbyes. We ate food, though i wasn't very hungry. It was the most bittersweet parting. I would have cried, a lot, but we were in public. Christian came outside and said goodbye as well, and then Katie drove me to the airport. We promised we would keep in touch and write letters to each other.

Poe wants ice cream. Silly poe

i LOVE Poe's ears in this!

The flight was alright. The kid next to me was reading Fight Club. I talked to him right before we landed. But i spent a lot of my time on the flight realizing just how much i was going to miss my time in Seattle. I thought about my life back at home. I had missed my family, my friends, my bed and my car, but i didn't miss it as much as i thought i did. I had let my sister know when i was coming home and she asked if she could pick me up in my car and i said i would rather her not but then i had to get on my flight. I thought "the one thing i would hate is if she showed up in my car" because i never gave her permission, and i would feel obligated to drive back or sit uncomfortably in the backseat, too out of it to want to drive. I just wanted to be able to relax and be happy to be with my sister and best friend again. And when i got off the plane, and waited for them to get there, they showed up, and there was my car. And all the feelings of disrespect and ill-communication, all the reactionary, uncomfortable feelings of never being listened to or taken seriously came flooding back to me, and there i sat outside of the san diego airport crying my eyes out. I was so mad and upset and let down and hurt. And i wanted to be anywhere but where i was. But i was also crying because being in Seattle, even leading up to leaving for Seattle, was something of an emotional roller coaster.

I realized how much Nick had really respected me, and loved me, and how Katie and i cared for each other and spent time together just being good to each other as friends, listening, not judging, not forcing anything on each other. I thought about how Nick wanted me to be happy as much as i wanted him to be happy. And all at once i missed it all more than anything. Thinking about it now gets me all choked up. My time in Seattle was more than a vacation off of work or a relaxing time away from life. It was a glimpse at how beautiful people can be towards each other, how much love and respect we can give and take and how much a difference it can make in our lives. I was so happy in Seattle, i was so alive. I felt wonderful, like i could take on the world. And it stuck with me for a while when i got home. But a month and a half later, i'm already worn down. I already feel dried up. Food doesn't taste as good, colors aren't as bright.

Life isn't worth living if there aren't people really wonderful around to share it with; people that want your company as much you you want theirs, people who take time to listen and feel welcomed enough to open up and talk to you. Honest, loving, good natured people.

I'm not saying that my family and friends aren't wonderful people, or that i don't love them and care for them as much as i did those in Seattle, but being in love makes the word a brighter, bigger, more wonderful place to be. Nick and i aren't together because long distance was too tolling, but i still love him with so much of my heart, wish him the best, his happiness and success, undeniably miss him, and will forever be grateful for the love, compassion, care, honesty, understanding and consideration he showed me.